A Horror World Conversation with Michael Boatman
By Steven E. Wedel

Last year Dybbuk Press released Michael Boatman’s collection GOD LAUGHS WHEN YOU DIE: MEAN LITTLE STORIES FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS. Joe R. Lansdale liked it, saying that Boatman “…writes like a visitor from hell.”

That ain’t bad for a guy who spent six years playing Carter Heywood on TV’s “ Spin City.” Carter Heywood likely would not have been anybody’s choice as a “visitor from hell.” Which probably just helps to show Boatman’s versatility as both an actor and writer.

The Drollerie Press is just about to release THE REVENANT ROAD, a horror comedy. Carter took some time out of his busy schedule to talk about his new book and his career to date.

Horror World: Michael, thanks for taking the time to talk to Horror World. I understand you’re the son of Odin and Freya. Tell us, was it difficult growing up with Norse gods as parents? What was your childhood like in West Asgard?

Michael Boatman: Cold. With lots of thunderbolts and dead Frost Giants flying around everywhere. My brother Thor was a real asshole.

HW: Judging from what I gathered online, it appears that acting came before writing. So, tell us how you got into acting. When did you start, and where?

MB: I started in high school. I was lured into the theater department by a girl upon whom I was seriously crushin.’ Most actors will tell you that they started acting as a way of getting attention from the opposite sex, (Or the same sex if you’re gay) and in my case this was true. I wound up overacting brilliantly in a play about kids lost in the jungle. The girl was my girlfriend for three years and I wound up making a career as an actor, so I guess it all worked out.

HW: Your Internet Movie Database page looks more like a list of hit shows, encompassing everything from “Family Feud” to “Grey’s Anatomy.” What acting role has been the most satisfying for you, and why?

MB: The most satisfying role I’ve played was probably Sam Becket on China Beach. It was darker, more disturbing than anything I’ve ever played and probably closer to who I really am. I played him for three years and never quite got it right.

HW: You’re best known as a comedic actor. Have you done some acting that revealed your dark side? In other words, where does this horror come from?

MB: Again, Beckett. He was a mortician, responsible for tagging dead soldiers and shipping them back to the States during the Vietnam War. Lots of black comedy, and plenty of real world horror to contend with in that show.

HW: Do readers connect Michael Boatman the actor with Michael Boatman the writer? Do they come to your writing expecting you to write like one of the characters you’ve portrayed?

MB: Yes. Remarkably. They make assumptions about my work as a writer based on my work as an actor, and are surprised (and disturbed) when they read my stories, even though there’s a great deal of comedy in many of the pieces I write.

HW: When did you begin writing? What made you want to take on such a masochistic endeavor?

MB: Back in 1995 or so, I was injured in a freak household accident. I was unable to walk for twelve weeks. One of my best friends, Don Cheadle, stopped by to visit. He saw me slumping there on my sofa, fat, bearded, drunk and near suicidal…an actor’s life is work and when work goes away, the meaning of his or her life changes. Cheadle said… “You need to do something creative.” Creative people have to create or we go crazy and murder small animals. I thought about what else I could do while recuperating. I’d always wanted to write a screenplay so I took the time and did it. It was absolute crap, but I learned an important lesson: As a writer I can create art or craft or whatever you want to call it, anytime I want. As an actor, I have to wait for a producer and a director and my agent and my manger and a casting director and Hermes the god of commerce to defecate on my head before I can utter a line of dialogue. I’ve been writing ever since.

HW: If I read correctly, you tried writing screenplays first. Seems natural enough for an actor. Have you had success in that format?

MB: Not yet. I’m getting close with this project that’s been optioned. It’s in “development” right now. It’s about an everyday guy who meets a voodoo priestess and falls in love. You know when you mix Death, cannibalism; black magic and multiple beheadings… hilarity can’t be too far behind! I’m waiting for funding and a lot of movie crap that’s way too boring to get excited about.

HW: You’ve published in Red Scream, Horror Garage and Weird Tales. What do you like about the short story format?

MB: I love hot, mean little pieces of fiction that grab you, shake the shit out of you, maybe even hurt you a little, before they let you up. I love a good engrossing novel, but there’s nothing like the short form. I think David J. Schow is a master of short stories. His ‘Scoop’ pieces are great funny and horrific.

HW: Tell us about THE REVENANT ROAD. What’s it about?

MB: It’s about Obadiah Grudge, a disgruntled but successful writer of crime novels. He’s got everything he ever wanted; bestsellers, money, fame.. Then his estranged father is murdered. Obadiah investigates and discovers that his father was, secretly, the world’s greatest monster hunter. It turns out that otherworldly beings murdered Marcus Grudge and now they’re after Obadiah. Now Obadiah has to pull his head out of his ass and start killing ‘squatters’ before they kill him. There’s only one problem: He hated his father for abandoning him. And he doesn’t believe in monsters.

HW: Obadiah Grudge is a fantastic name for a character. How did you come up with that? Is he based on anyone?

MB: I love names that jump off the page. Names that are heavy with symbolism or that make me laugh, that resonate in some way. In this case I thought of a young man, somewhat soured by life, a misanthrope, unfriendly, a drunk, who hates mostly everybody and isn’t all that happy with himself. Obadiah Grudge just popped into my head.

HW: What’s inspired you toward the dark side of literature? Have you always been a fan of horror fiction?

MB: Always. When I was young I read Bradbury, Tolkien and King. I spirited away my mother’s copy of The Exorcist the year it was published. I think I was eight or nine. The most horrific moment in that book for me was the scene where the little girl pees on the carpet at her mother’s big fancy dinner party. Something about that scene sticks with me to this day.

HW: How about the comedic elements? Why does the horror/comedy mix work so well?

MB: My friend Dave Schow wrote in the introduction to my collection, God Laughs When You Die, that the tension/release reaction of a laugh is very similar to that of a scream. The tension builds in a great joke the same way it does in a scary story; the audience waits for it…waits for it some more…then… the payoff: the killer punchline, or the killer punches someone’s head off. Different stimulus… similar result.

HW: As you’re writing, how do you balance the horror and comedy?

MB: I don’t try to balance it. I just let the story tell itself. Some of my stories are heavier on the irony than others. I am primarily a writer of dark fiction. Most times I just want to scare my readers really badly, or crack them up and make them gasp. I desperately want to be audacious but I’m pretty straight forward when it comes to the stuff I like: Good versus Evil…monsters…zombies.

HW: A lot of writers cast actors as their characters when they write. Do you do that? If so, who are some of the actors you’d cast as characters from your stories?

MB: I actually don’t cast my characters that way. I prefer to let the reader do that for themselves. Besides, I’m jealous by nature. If I write a story and a certain actor pops into my head, my response is usually… “Why should that asshole be working when I’m not?” I know it’s sick but that’s my life: One dark, endless circle-jerk in the prison shower of my imagination.

HW: What will you be doing to promote THE REVENANT ROAD?

MB: I’ll be whoring myself as much as I possibly can. I’m not above begging and paying bribes to people in high places. It’s really difficult to promote books. People ask why I don’t just go on talk shows, to which I say, “Ever see Stephen King on a talk show?” I expect I’ll be doing signings and readings, and appearances at places where mature adults dress up like cartoon characters. Yay Me!

HW: Let’s say you wake up tomorrow and find that your bed has been dropped in the middle of a desert. Closing in on one side is a pack of werewolves. On the other is a clan of vampires. On another a horde of zombies, and on the final side is the worst of all monsters, a team of lawyers. Which way would you run, and why?

MB: I would run for the Vampires, because at least I could hope to come back as a sleek night creature with superpowers and a thirst for blood. There are a few dozen Hollywood types I’d love to sink my fangs into. Werewolves? Nah…too stupid. Zombies? Ouch. A long, painful extremely gross way to die, second only to the inevitable ass-rape/backstabbing I’d get from the lawyers. Vamps please.

HW: Assuming you escape the above scenario, what does the future hold for Michael Boatman? Will you continue to balance acting and writing, or will you focus on one or the other?

MB: I love to write films and would enjoy directing them. Some stories can only be done in film. I will always write novels and short stories though. I’m in the process of inking a deal with Red Rose publishing. They’re publishing a story of mine as a series, Her Daughter in Darkness. It’s my take on the abovementioned vampire mythos. It will appear this October at their website and will be compiled in print later next year. As far as acting is concerned, that’s still how I pay my bills so I’m always on the prowl.

HW: Is there anything I should have asked but didn’t? Any last words you want to offer us? I don’t mean last last words, like we’re planning to kill you and eat you or anything. Nanci only lets us do that to one interview subject per year, and we’ve already had this year’s feast. I just mean last words as in the end of this interview. Anything?

MB: I think I’m good. Other than a website plug. Myspace and Facebook mentions.

HW: Thank you again for your time, Michael. We wish you the best of luck with all your future endeavors.

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