|
Forgotten
Souls
By
Tim Arsenault
Chapter
1
Whispers
of the dead passed through his little fingers.
Hushed
exclamations suddenly erupted from all sides, echoing a
fury of tangled words into a common center of boiling excitement.
It's
him! It's him!
She
could almost see their translucent fingers being pointed
at the boy standing before her, their misty shapes surrounding
him with arms that wanted, but were unable, to embrace him
within the halo of their presence. They existed at the periphery
of her vision, like the faint illumination of distant stars,
quick to disappear if she should look directly at them.
He's
the one! The bellow of a man's voice-commanding, powerful.
Oh,
sweet goodness, it's almost time! Quivering syllables
of an elderly woman on the brink of ecstatic laughter.
The
Chosen One is here . . . A subtle whisper soon swallowed
by the surrounding fever of discovery.
More
whispers. Rising in pitch, quickly becoming shouts and screams
of joy. They traveled the lengths of her fingertips, found
their way through the tingling surfaces of her arms, neck,
and head.
And
entered Andrea Varney's mind, sending pleasant ripples of
recognition fluttering through her body with searing pinpricks
of heat, enough to all but eliminate the cold winter air
the boy had brought with him inside the library only a moment
ago.
Andrea
felt her heart rise a few inches within her chest, and her
eyes widen as if she were about to be hit by a truck. Severed
breaths hitched within her throat as the boy began to remove
his nervous fingers from her hand. His mouth opened in a
silent gasp and cheeks flushed a slight shade of red.
He
felt it too.
In
the flash of time before their fingers lost contact, the
moment so intense she felt her teeth painfully squeeze her
lower lip between them, Andrea began to recollect her past.
Memories
resurfaced and burned scarlet visions into her mind of the
little girl she once was, making weekly rounds of visitation
to the few cemeteries residing on the hillside. Cemeteries
infested with massive overgrowths of grass, weeds, and whatever
else that needed only sunlight to grow unhindered. Where
headstones leaned at different angles and inscriptions were
faintly visible, if at all.
Many
of the plots she walked upon bowed upward, the caskets below
rising a few inches, sometimes a few feet, in protest to
the yearly erosion and frost heaving. But she didn't like
to think about that. Instead, Andrea imagined the pocked
and weed-filled curve in the ground as the roof of a new
house, which the dead now occupied. Unsightly to some, but
the glorious, frescoed arch of a Romanesque chapel to a
certain eight-year-old little girl.
Soon
enough, the visits became daily.
Andrea
thought herself to be a different girl, not strange,
as she so often heard from others. She knew she didn't do
everything any normal girl would do at her age-too boring.
At least, she didn't think it was strange. She only felt
an obligation to pay these visits to the deceased, as no
one else ever did. A big word for such a small girl, but
one she understood.
At
first, she just thought they were lonely.
She
wasn't too young to notice during her frequent strolls through
the hillside that very few people ever paid their respects
to the dead. Aside from token flags being placed at headstones
on Memorial Day, or the occasional burial she spied upon
from the edge of the forest, a single visitor was extremely
rare. A single rose, lucky enough to be placed next to a
headstone, would soon wither and crumble, and at last scatter
into invisible fragments with the slightest breeze, along
with the memory of the individual below.
During
the summer, daily visits grew into all-day adventures as
she recited names she was able to decipher, had one-sided
conversations with each, and placed gentle hands upon the
chipped and weathered surfaces.
Every
time she sat by the headstones, fingers tracing faded inscriptions,
a cool chill swept completely through her body, as if these
people actually knew she was there to visit. It wasn't a
chill that scared her-not at all. In fact, it comforted
her, as she thought the dead were speaking to her in their
own special way, in a language only she could understand.
Sometimes,
she even remembered to bring a damp cloth from home to wipe
away any grime that had gathered since her last visit. And
should moss creep along the base of a stone, a plastic knife
kept in her back pocket could be used to cut away its congested
fibers.
From
each headstone she visited, and certainly only from those
that allowed her the liberty without causing any more damage,
she pried away a tiny, brittle piece of stone. Then blew
loose particles of dirt from its edges and cleaned the entire
piece with her shirt before placing it into her pocket.
The stone eventually rested inside its own protective compartment
of an old shoebox that hid underneath her bed. But, more
importantly, it found a place inside a little girl's heart.
And memory.
This
produced a happiness inside of her that couldn't be achieved
through her dolls or playhouses, a feeling which became
the reason for her to return at every chance. To Andrea,
these people were friends that wouldn't laugh at her and
surely never tease her. They understood her. And would always
be there to talk to. Always.
Soon,
she began to hear their whispers.
And
learned of a partner she must wait for, of a journey that
needed to begin. Of the number of souls that needed to be
remembered, and what happened to the unfortunate souls whose
memories had been allowed to dwindle into the slightest
flicker of a passing thought in the minds of their friends
and loved ones.
The
ultimate price civilization would have to pay on account
of its negligence.
It
frightened her.
*
* * * *
The
ring of the service bell released Andrea from the tightening
clutch of her memories.
"Excuse
me, miss?" Phil Jacobs said for the third time, muffling
the bell with a large palm.
"Oh,
I'm . . . I'm sorry. I guess I had . . . my mind on other
things," Andrea stammered, words not coming out exactly
as she had hoped. She picked up a small pile of papers and
placed it back down, found the strength to smile before
looking into the face of the man before her.
Her
hands were shaking and she quickly brought them out of sight
to toy with the brass handle of a desk drawer. It was something
familiar, something she was used to, like home. It calmed
her, and her nerves began to settle. She looked past the
boy and his father, and let her eyes linger upon the shape
of the card catalogue; computerized directories had yet
to establish a need in such a small town. It was like admiring
the antique table in her home that her grandmother had passed
down. Familiar. And cherished, Andrea's fingers never tiring
of the endless flipping through bent and ink-smeared cards.
Fingers that were . . . now steady, no longer trembling.
Not
completely relaxed, but close.
Andrea
noticed the boy standing on his tiptoes, peering over the
edge of the large mahogany desktop with a happy, but concerned
look on his face. He rubbed his fingers together, inspected
them with a gaze that quickly went from her to his fingers,
then back again. Tufts of dirty-blonde hair wiggled on the
back of his head in response.
"No
problem. I was only getting concerned," Phil said,
changing the stern look on his face to a friendly grin.
"We just moved into town and I'd like to get my son,
Darren, a library card," he continued as he placed
a hand on his son's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.
Darren
smiled.
"Absolutely,"
Andrea replied, trying her best to smile in return, fingers
fumbling for the proper form. "If you'll just fill
in the required information, I can get him one right away."
The words sounded slurred and sluggish, like lead weights
rolling off the end of her tongue and falling dead at her
feet.
Phil
nodded and chose a corner reading desk to use.
Darren
watched his father with eager eyes, the episode between
him and Andrea forgotten for the time being. Eyeing the
thousands of books that occupied the small library's bookshelves,
most beyond his reach, he waited on the balls of his feet
for the nod of approval to explore this new territory.
Attempting
to look busy behind the desk, Andrea kept a furtive gaze
fixed on Darren. She couldn't help it, nor could she believe
it. He caught her on one occasion and tucked his body into
the side of his father, pulling his eyes away from hers,
suddenly inspecting the toes of his sneakers.
Andrea
wanted to know everything possible about the boy she had
just met. Sure, he would be back again to take out more
books of his liking, but she wanted to know everything now.
The whispers of the deceased had never told her how long
she would actually have to wait.
Andrea
thought she had a right to know, since Darren Jacobs, still
yet to see his teenage years, still yet to see a single
hair magically sprout from his chest or reddened blotch
of acne invade his forehead, would be that partner for the
rest of her life.
Though
only in her twenties, Andrea had grown up fast, and at times
felt as if she had lost a lifetime to waiting.
The
same year she graduated from high school, icy roads on the
interstate killed her parents, leaving her alone with a
house, a mortgage, and bills to pay. Except for the occasional
night class, she had postponed college and found herself
lucky to live in a town where a college education wasn't
yet required to be a librarian.
Children.
How she longed for them. But she knew the kids who frequented
the library were the closest she would ever come to having
any children. She treated every one of them as if they were
her own, but a burning void would always exist and probably
never be filled.
She
only watched, amused, as mothers brought their bachelor
sons to parade in front of her, thinking they were helping
her, but in fact, were only making her that much more depressed.
Of the few relationships she did manage to have, each had
lasted only a few weeks, months at the most. She was terrified
to settle down, to have a family, fearing the day she would
have to pack up and begin a journey. Now, she just preferred
to be alone.
And
there was still a wait ahead of her.
Anger
built up inside Andrea, but she managed to control it with
minimal effort. The fact was simple: Darren was the Chosen
One.
The
only one.
With
the completed form in hand, a glimpse of Darren's face remained
as an afterimage as Andrea turned around to type up the
library card.
She
produced two loud clacks from an outdated Zenith typewriter
when graying fingers suddenly clawed at the boundaries of
her vision with hooked, blackened tips. She grasped the
edges of the typing desk as an oncoming blackness surrounded
her. Then swallowed her. Knuckles losing color, she fought
to keep her breaths steady, counting the seconds in between.
The
blackness pressed into her from all sides and pushed her
through a shrinking, suffocating tunnel, like hundreds of
giant fingers moving her along-poking, prodding. The deepest
regions of the tunnel gave birth to a slight flicker of
light, but complete darkness embraced her like the arms
of a rotting corpse as the light extinguished.
A
sickening groan formed within her throat and almost escaped.
Her fingernails dug into the sides of the desk-the snap
of one was the only piece of the real world she heard before
that faded as well.
Andrea
fought for control, now unable to count any time between
breaths.
If
pitch black could get any darker, it did.
Without
warning, the face of Darren Jacobs swelled from the darkness,
appearing as a milky image, undefined at the edges and strangely
out of shape, eye sockets filled with a deeper shade of
black than that from which they grew. Almost as suddenly,
sparkling charges of energy rotated within the empty spheres,
like swarms of bright, visible molecules, before developing
into the clear blue eyes Andrea had seen only minutes ago.
The
rest of his body grew from the base of his neck and expanded
into the little boy she had recently met: young and unknowing,
waiting to be filled with the knowledge of the world.
She
watched as Darren aged.
It
was as if he were an elastic form, expanding and distorting
as he got bigger, like a comic strip image a child would
pull and stretch on some legendary Silly Putty with a smile
of satisfaction on his face.
Darren
slowly expanded into an adolescent, wearing what looked
like an athletic uniform: probably a hockey or football
uniform, the image was too deformed to make out. A second
later, he was wearing a graduation cap and gown.
Andrea
had to smile, because she thought he was pretty handsome,
distorted or not.
With
another gradual change in his appearance-features swelling,
melting, then reforming again-she witnessed Darren as an
adult: suit and tie, the whole bit.
The
image lingered only momentarily, as did her smile.
A
frown trembled on Darren's face and a glimmer sparkled in
his eyes. He seemed to be looking down at something, restraining
his emotions with considerable effort. She wanted to reach
out with a warm touch to his cheek, tell him everything
was going to be all right, prevent that first tear from
falling.
Her
own emotions rising and falling, twisting and turning along
the webbed grid of her nerves, she combined all of them
into one: horror.
Hair
disheveled, face burning with anguish, Darren appeared to
be reaching with an outstretched arm for help, a frozen
scream covering his face, pulsating veins straining at his
temples.
Growing
shapes and shadows were moving behind him, lumbering toward
him. Reaching . . .
Andrea
started to panic.
Hours
seemed to have passed since she had lost contact with the
outside world. The physical world was right under her feet
and all around, but seemed to be on the other side of a
magician's black curtain, waiting. She feared the surprise
that would be unveiled when the curtain finally dropped.
And the laughter that would surely follow.
Her
self-control began to chip away, piece by jittering piece.
Remembering
where her physical self really was, Andrea bit off
an oncoming scream and only hoped whatever was happening
would end soon.
It
didn't.
Completely
enveloped by this alternate reality, she squinted to see
another flicker of light beginning to appear at the end
of the tunnel. She released a sigh of relief, but sucked
it back in just as fast, and held onto it. The light was
not the fluorescent light of the library. The light she
saw was red.
Fire
red.
An
unbearable heat penetrated her body, locating every pore,
every orifice that led to her inner self, seeming to cook
all of her inside organs, melding them into one. Something
forced her closer to the light, the heat. The closer she
got, the clearer her destination became.
Flames
licked at the opposite opening of the tunnel like the slithering
tips of serpents' tongues, the first step into the acidic
bowels that craved her.
Closer,
closer.
She
was in Hell. She knew this with the same certainty that
she'd sink to the darkest regions of the ocean if her legs
were encased within a barrel of cement.
Hell.
No other place could be this horrid.
Or
as foul. The stench immediately brought tears to her eyes
and an unpleasant clamminess to the back of her tongue,
threatening to release her gorge.
Wiping
stinging droplets of sweat from her eyes, Andrea stared
into a blood-tainted sky, its horizon nothing that would
place it under the laminated covering of a postcard. The
land below looked like one vast, violent country, appearing
to grow even as she watched, breeding within its very own
shadows.
Smoldering
stakes, each much taller than Andrea, lined the landscape,
continued until they were mere inches above the horizon,
and continued some more. Between some of these stakes, human
flesh was stretched: taut, tanning.
An
ominous presence remained unseen, but she could feel it
pressing into her skin, tasting her, wanting to crawl under
the thin layers of her flesh and consume her.
Andrea
gazed with eyes that refused to blink and welled with sorrow.
To
the right of where she stood, people, real people,
were being burned on the stakes, surrounded by separate
circles of figures clad in hooded robes. A muffled chant
rose and fell in time with the crackling from each pyre
and the screams emanating in piercing warbles.
From
within one of these circles, a young girl searched for help.
Her mouth was pulled from all directions, her teeth bared
into an ugly attempt at a scream. The half-beautiful, half-charred
face of a woman in front of her yearned for freedom from
the stake to which she was bound, from the flames that swept
across her face. The resemblance of the two was uncanny.
The little girl could only kneel at the woman's feet and
look on, open hands catching the crimson fluid that dripped
from her mother's toes.
Andrea's
body remained in place, yet somehow she got even closer.
The
woman's skin blistered and popped, turning into a molten
mess that began to sag. Andrea saw the burning, smelled
it, the sharp odor burning holes into the tender flesh of
her nose. She gagged then fell to her knees, vomiting until
it felt like her insides were being ripped out with each
convulsion, one organ at a time.
She
stood back up.
Unable
to endure the sight of the dying woman or the helpless child
without another battle with her insides, Andrea turned a
shamed face and ran.
Running,
running.
Something
followed her with thunderous footsteps she could feel as
well as hear; powerful explosions that found their way into
the inner caverns of her brain and squashed exposed nerves.
Running,
running.
Refusing
to look back, Andrea continued into the darkness ahead of
her, the way she had come. Hundreds of questions probed
her mind like invisible tentacles prodding for a source,
searching for answers.
She
remembered the whispers of her dead friends and searched
for strength: Do not fear the presence, it only fears
you.
Then
why was she running?
The
darkness fell in sheets around her.
Her
shoulder-length brown hair hung in disarray, the underside
of her bangs now sticking to her forehead. Blood pumped
with heavy beats inside her ears, seeming to mask a fit
of laughter.
*
* * * *
Bewildered,
Andrea stared at the completed library card.
The
card slipped through her fingers as she tried to hand it
to Darren's father. She had to push it across the desk.
Phil
Jacobs mumbled his thanks, then disappeared into the Children's
section with strides quicker than Darren could keep up with.
Pulled
in tow by the hand of his father, Darren turned.
And
his eyes locked onto Andrea's.
He
smiled.
Chapter 2
Chin
in palm, elbow resting against the arm of her office chair,
Andrea watched the December sky darken early-and quickly,
as though a cloak were thrown over the sun as an afterthought.
A cold wind caused the window to buffet and chatter within
its frame.
Hiding
herself in the back office, Andrea had asked her assistant
to work the desk for the rest of the day, claiming weeks
of papers needed filing. She didn't want to encounter Darren
or his father as they checked out . . . she'd be apt to
buckle at the knees.
But,
as she heard the deathly silent hush that comes when the
last of the patrons have left for the day, she did wipe
away frost from the window. And took one more look-as he
climbed into the car by the sidewalk-at the boy who would
change her life.
Andrea
glimpsed an unsteady pile of books resting on Darren's lap
before his father shut the passenger's door. His hands were
casually placed on top of the pile. Not toying with the
edges, not flipping back and forth between illustrations.
Not running a finger slowly beneath each word as he read.
He
wasn't even looking at the books.
His
eyes seemed locked in position, locked straight ahead, only
able to look elsewhere. As though being forced, his head
turned slowly and faced the library's office window, cheeks
much too red to be suffering from just the touch of winter.
Andrea
turned away.
Tension
filled her body and numbed her fingertips. She repeatedly
grabbed the air at her sides and allowed her brain to develop
a stunning mirage of a gin and tonic producing drops of
moisture upon her desk blotter. The mere thought of the
drink made her smack her tongue against the roof of her
mouth in heavenly anticipation.
The
tension began to ebb.
Andrea
helped close the library with her assistant, ignoring the
strange looks that were sent in her direction. She wasn't
about to explain.
She
grabbed her winter coat, scarf, and purse, making sure everything
met her approval before leaving. Locking the door behind
her, Andrea braved the cold December bite, heels clicking
on the sidewalk as she ran to her car.
Just
that brief time in the cold plagued Andrea's fingers with
a very uncomfortable sting. She had a rough time trying
to get her key to fit in the tiny hole of her car door.
The key worked against her, as if refusing to succumb to
its inevitable demise, thrashing within the grip of her
shaking fingers. She finally managed, adding to the plethora
of small jagged scratches that surrounded the keyhole, then
hurried to open the door and escape the punishment of the
cold.
Throwing
herself into the car, the driver's seat producing a long,
wheezing noise as the frozen vinyl settled around her position,
Andrea slammed the door. Jammed the key into the ignition,
refusing to let it fight against her, and willed the engine
to start when she turned the key.
Like
clockwork, her knees knocked together while she gunned the
accelerator to bring the car to a weary winter idle. She
cranked the heater full blast, waiting for it to build up
steam, extremely grateful the aging Plymouth Duster still
liked to keep her warm on the many cold nights she drove
home alone. In a few minutes, Hell would be pouring from
the blower. Until the car actually sickened beyond any fruitful
attempts to fix it, she wouldn't even think about purchasing
another. It was her first, and would be hard to part with.
She
rubbed her hands together and thought about all that had
happened. An unexpected surprise that almost left her breathless,
the events of the day had really wiped her out. As much
as she hated to admit it, she wasn't ready for this to occur
today.
Andrea
had gone about her business, leading a somewhat normal life,
sometimes wondering if everything the deceased kept telling
her was true, or if she even heard them at all. Maybe she
really was crazy. She wanted to believe them, but after
a while, she had almost lost hope, thinking she had only
imagined everything, her growing mind refusing to filter
out the imagination of her young self.
A
wave of guilt now swept through Andrea, creating a frothing
tide of shame for distrusting the only real friends
she ever had. But it was quickly dispelled as the faces
of those she had remembered began to appear, called up from
distant memories, always forgiving. And she started feeling
better, knowing that it was all indeed true.
The
journey would someday begin.
It
would make everything she had done, or not done, all worth
it.
She
spent much of her time at cemeteries, especially the older
ones, knew the name on each stone and the person buried
beneath it. She researched the past of each one-part of
the reason she took the job as a librarian, knowing no better
way to gain information than knowing exactly where each
document existed that the town had produced. Not that it
was strictly necessary . . . her deceased friends enjoyed
telling her of their lives directly.
Her
fingers tingled as blood began flowing within them, the
numbness slipping away.
Knowing
the car wouldn't stall, she placed it into drive and, looking
over her left shoulder, pulled onto Gerard Street, heading
home. At the only set of lights in town, she turned left
onto a brittle section of Route 202 and forced a breath
through tightened lips in an effort to relax for the somewhat
long and bumpy drive home.
She
listened to the monotone babbling of an unenthused deejay
at WORC, a station just outside of town, known for its orchestra,
while replaying the scenes of the afternoon over and over
in her head-Darren's happy face, his distorted features,
her visitation into Hell. What kept forcing its way to the
forefront of her mind was the suffocating feeling of an
unseen presence. She loosened her collar at the very thought
of it, immediately angry with herself for even acknowledging
the power it might have over her.
Despite
the heat now pouring into the car, a shiver reached its
icy fingers to the base of her spine.
She
had started humming to a piece by Vivaldi when the radio
station disappeared and only static crackled from the speakers.
She looked down, confused-eyebrows coming together-and turned
the dial all the way to the left, then to the right. Nothing.
She was stunned. The idea of WORC going off the air diminished.
Every station remained silent except for the venomous hiss
that oozed from each frequency. Something was wrong.
"What
in the . . . ?" Three words, the rest silenced when
her head struck the steering wheel. The squeal of tires
echoed somewhere in the distance as they locked up and slid
upon a mixture of sand, snow, and rock salt.
She
swayed back and forth, fearful of passing out. The world
around her began to shimmer at the edges, but came back
into focus at a pace equivalent to a caterpillar becoming
a butterfly. And she did feel like a butterfly-one
splattered on her windshield in all possible directions.
Andrea
pinched the bridge of her nose in an effort to relieve the
pain. It didn't work.
She
still held onto the steering wheel with one claw-like hand
that refused to open. Wincing, she felt a lump beginning
to take shape in the middle of her forehead.
The
car was silent. No lights. No power.
No
heater.
Her
breath soon appeared in front of her, forming a haze just
thick enough to dim the glow from a single streetlight that
stood alone for miles. Shadows seemed to grow from all sides,
leaving the forest on spreading bellies, crawling over,
through, and around the snow banks, closing in.
"Damn
car," Andrea muttered, hitting the steering wheel with
a balled fist. She looked outside for any oncoming vehicles,
but saw none. Snow banks and pines on either side of the
road outlined the black, patchy pavement. She instantly
hated winter's insistence at being dark by five o'clock.
She
tried to start the Plymouth again, but it politely denied
her the favor.
Frustrated,
she looked outside the rear window in desperate need of
help. Turned the ignition a second time, a third, but again
the car disapproved. Before her fourth attempt, she placed
the car in neutral, jiggling the key as she turned-a trick
that sometimes worked. Only a slow whine moaned from the
engine and soon returned to an eerie silence.
Getting
scared.
Andrea
leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes.
She
brought her cussing to a halt as a high, painful screeching
sound came from in front of her.
Peering
between squinting lids, she looked at the windshield and
brought her head up with a painful snap of her neck. She
rubbed her eyes with a vigor that didn't help much, bringing
pain to her already aching head, and disbelieved what her
eyes wanted to show her.
From
outside of the car, her windshield was shattering under
the pressure of steadily dropping temperature. Or so she
thought. At first. When she noticed the peculiar way lines
were forming within the glass, curving where needed and
intersecting where appropriate, she also realized it wasn't
shattering at all, but was being carved into.
The
sound was almost deafening amid the blackened silence of
the winter night. Andrea covered her ears with quivering
hands and watched, eyes performing a wild dance within their
sockets, as a message appeared. Very abstract, but it was
there.
Among
a series of scratches was the word: Dare.
"Oh
shit! Oh shit!" Her pulse increased. She could hear
it in her ears, feel it in her chest as short breaths grew
in succession.
With
a final squeal that threatened to shatter the windshield,
the word was underlined.
She
screamed.
|