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headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4670: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4671: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4672: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) Horror World • View topic - Waiting in line...
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:07 pm Posts: 1886 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
I went to the physiotherapist yesterday. It's a scary place where my leg is put through unbelievable contortions, using techniques that were undoubtedly gleaned from a handbook of Inquistion, circa early Spain.
The physiotherapist tells me its time to begin putting a little weight on my foot, so today I am wearing sandals and practising my heel-toe technique with my injured foot. It tires quickly but the strength is there. I'm hoping to be walking by the end of the month, if not sooner. I'll look slick with a cane.
For now, I'm just waiting.
Afterwards I went downstairs to the hospital cafeteria. The food isn't great but its convenient for me and the tables are wheelchair and crutch accessible. I went to where they keep the trays and placed my tray on the rails and put my food on the tray. I then begin an elaborate process of crutching two steps forward, reaching back, sliding my tray forward, and then crutching two more steps forward. By this technique I eventually reach the counter, pay the girl, and she gives me a lift to a nearby table. Only today a woman taps me on the shoulder. She's one of these brittle Clairol bimboes, upwardly mobile, with a shadow of neuroses barely covered by her eyeshadow, and a tight manicured look as if her face had been carved out of latex with a judicious collaboration of stilleto and scalpel blade.
"Excuse me," She asked. "Do you mind if I step in front of you?"
Do I mind? No lady, I'm leaning on the crutches because I love supporting my own weight with my armpits.
She steps in front of me, takes two steps to the coffee machine and then comes to a complete halt, fussing with your macchi-latti-domo-matrix coffee. Where's the sugar. I need the cane sugar. Is there any half and half? Is this coffee fresh? Meanwhile, I'm standing behind her, growing old. A friend approaches her. How are you feeling? How's your throat? Oh, says my pushy friend, my throat is badly infected. I'm gargling with medicinal mouthwash but it doesn't seem to help.
I look about me and see three signs warning folks with sore throats, sniffles, and chronic bunions to stay away from the hospital for fear of contaminating the patients, but apparently this woman cannot read.
I know, a lot of you will comment and say that I should have said something and maybe you're right. But sometimes the apparent stupidity of occasional individuals, generally heavily medicated upwardly-mobile yuppy-doodies, leaves me absolutely speechless.
I made my way to the cash register, paid my bill, and another woman promptly scooped up my tray.
"Here sir," She said to me. "Let me give you a hand."
My faith in humanity is briefly returned to me.
* * *
Not that I need much of an excuse to talk about myself but I had a few bits of news I wanted to leak here.
2008 looks to be shaping up into a good year. I've already presold a novella (PLAGUE MONKEY SPAM) to Bad Moon Books, a new ghost story collection (WICKED WOODS) to Nimbus, and my first novel (GYPSY BLOOD) to 5-Star Press and I still have one more announcement up my sleeve yet.
I'm pretty pleased with my progress. I promised myself a four digit advance and 5-Star gives me that, as will the as-of-yet unnannounced book deal.
My next goal is something in the mass market. Maybe by 2009. Keep your fingers crossed.
As for me, I'm just waiting. Feel free to step in front of me.
_________________ FLASH VIRUS: EPISODE ONE (always free)
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